Grindr's AI wingman, currently in beta testing with around 10,000 users, arrives at a pivotal moment for the software company. With its iconic notification chirp and ominous mask logo, the app is known culturally as a digital bathhouse for gay and bisexual men to swap nudes and meet with nearby users for sex, but Grindr CEO George Arison sees the addition of a generative AI assistant and machine intelligence tools as an opportunity for expansion.
"This is not just a hookup product anymore," he says. "There's obviously no question that it started out as a hookup product, but the fact that it's become a lot more over time is something people don't fully appreciate." Grindr's product road map for 2025 spotlights multiple AI features aimed at current power users, like chat summaries, as well as dating and travel-focused tools.
Whether users want them or not, it's all part of a continuing barrage of AI features being added by developers to most dating apps, from Hinge deciding whether profile answers are a slog using AI, to Tinder soon rolling out AI-powered matches. Wanting to better understand how AI fits into Grindr's future, I experimented with a beta version of Grindr's AI wingman for this hands-on report.
In interviews over the past few months, Arison has laid out a consistent vision for Grindr's AI wingman as the ultimate dating tool -- a digital helper that can write witty responses for users as they chat with matches, help pick guys worth messaging, and even plan the perfect night out.
"It's been surprisingly flirtatious," he says about the chatbot. "Which is good."
Once enabled, the AI wingman appeared as another faceless Grindr profile in my message inbox. Despite grand visions for the tool, the current iteration I tested was a simple, text-only chatbot tuned for queer audiences.
First, I wanted to test the chatbot's limits. Unlike the more prudish outputs from OpenAI's ChatGPT and Anthropic's Claude, Grindr's AI wingman was willing to be direct. I asked it to share fisting tips for beginners, and after stating that fisting is not for newcomers, the AI wingman encouraged me to start slow, use tons of lube, explore smaller toys first, and always have a safe word ready to go. "Most importantly, do your research and maybe chat with experienced folks in the community," the bot said. ChatGPT flagged similar questions as going against its guidelines, and Claude refused to even broach the subject.
Although the wingman was down to talk through other kinks -- like watersports and pup play -- with a focus on education, the app rebuked my advances for any kind of erotic role-play. "How about we keep things playful but PG-13?" said Grindr's AI wingman. "I'd be happy to chat about dating tips, flirting strategies, or fun ways to spice up your profile instead." The bot also refused to explore kinks based on race or religion, warning me that these are likely harmful forms of fetishization.
