The Rise of AI in Dating: Enhancing Connections or Eroding Authenticity?

Should you be using AI in your dating life?

Credit: Ian Moore / Mashable Composite; Eoneren / Henrik Sorensen / DigitalVision / ismagilov / ivanmollov / Turkan Rahimli / iStock / Getty Artificial intelligence is inescapable. It's curating your Spotify playlists, writing your work emails, and, depending on how much you trust ChatGPT, maybe even drafting your texts. So, of course, it has infiltrated online dating. The biggest apps are already rolling out AI-powered features -- helping you craft the perfect profile or screen for creeps. But the real question isn't whether AI can be part of your dating life. It's whether it should be. Should you let an algorithm finesse your Hinge prompts? Can an AI-generated opener spark real chemistry? And if a chatbot politely rejects a match for you... does that make you emotionally unavailable or just efficient? To untangle the dos and absolutely don'ts of AI-assisted dating, I spoke to friends, acquaintances, and relationship coaches to gain their perspectives. Predictably, when I asked people on social media whether using AI in dating apps is fair game, many were quick to say it's a hard no. "[It's] unethical, and if you can't make your own responses to a person you're interested in dating then you shouldn't be dating," said Ashley C., a social worker living in Chicago. Elijah D., a data analyst based in Chicago, was blunt when asked about using AI in dating apps. "IT'S NEVER OK," he declared. "I'm anti-AI period," said Devan H. an actor living in New York. "I can't imagine what I would be using an AI for in my dating life. Maybe writing a bio on a dating app? But in that case it really feels like an inaccurate representation of you and your personality doesn't it." "If it's to create conversation because you're too incompetent to do it on your own, then you deserve to be killed when the AI takes over," joked Heike D., a resident of Texas. "But for real, it feels disingenuous and an easy cop-out for people that refuse to build any true social skills." The overwhelming sentiment? Letting AI craft your messages feels straight-up disingenuous. Many dating coaches agree, often emphasizing the importance of authenticity -- no embellishing your height, job, or anything else that could unravel later. After all, how can you build trust when you're outsourcing the conversation from the start? "People using these tools are no longer communicating with one another," said matchmaker and dating coach Blaine Anderson in an email to Mashable. "The AI communicates for them. So if your AI tool is well-tuned enough to send fun and flirty messages, and you use those messages to land a date, that's nominally great. But if you're not actually a fun or flirty person, the person sitting across from you is going to wonder why the version of you they met online never showed up." So beyond the general inauthenticity of using AI, when is it actually okay to use AI in your dating life? The answer largely depends on personal comfort levels. Still, according to many people who responded to us on social media, the consensus is that AI should be limited to profile bios -- and that's it. Genny Diehl -- known on TikTok as @datingcoachdiehl -- says AI can quickly warp your IRL persona. It's one thing to lean on ChatGPT for the perfect ice-breaker, but once you're swapping in AI-generated photos and spit-shined banter, you're no longer showing up as the messy, interesting human you actually are. Kenny H., a wedding planner in Houston, sees AI as a handy tool for date planning. "I've mapped out dates with AI," he told us. "ChatGPT has given me some bomb recommendations. But using it to carry the conversation or anything beyond that? Feels wrong." Another respondent, Natalie C from Austin, said she found ChatGPT helpful in revamping her profile. "It told me what aspects to focus on and gave me some prompt ideas so that's the extent I've used it," Natalie said. "But I've seen TikToks of people saying that they've had men say they were using bots to speak to women." "I would say if you're organizing your dating profile [that's fine]," said Kiara T, a resident of Georgia. "But that's the end of it." Beyond authenticity, there's also the issue of privacy -- especially when feeding personal details about yourself or potential love interests into AI tools like ChatGPT or "rizz" apps designed to generate the perfect response. "Users should be mindful of their data and exercise caution," warned Anwar White, a dating coach who specializes in working with women of color. "Over-reliance on AI can hinder personal growth and the development of essential dating skills." Because at the end of the day, if an algorithm is doing all the flirting for you, are you really learning how to connect -- or just outsourcing the hard part? Trying to send a breakup text? One person Mashable spoke to says that's fair game. If AI can help draft a thoughtful, drama-free message -- especially for a short-lived situation -- why not let it take the emotional labor off your plate? "I'd be fine with someone using AI to help craft a breakup text to me," said Jackie M., a writer residing in New York. "[But] only if we'd been on fewer than three dates. After that, I'd probably be insulted." More than anything though, the biggest question is "do you deserve to know your match is using AI?" "Dating apps already create a layer of separation between people, and AI has the potential to widen that gap even further," Diehl said. "I see no issue if AI helps get someone from 'stuck in app limbo' to 'actually on a date,' but when it becomes a substitute for real engagement, that's when it stops being a tool and starts being a barrier." That disconnect isn't just theoretical -- some people are already adjusting their expectations, or lowering them entirely. "Interestingly, I've chatted with a handful of women recently who said they basically don't care about messaging on dating apps anymore, because they can't assume the guy sending the messages is actually the one writing them," Anderson wrote. At the end of the day, how you use AI in your dating life is entirely up to you. But after speaking with daters, coaches, and experts, one thing is clear: authenticity still matters. You're better off being yourself -- flaws, awkward texts, and all.

Go ahead and flirt with AI, just don't fall in love

When to use artificial intelligence for your dating life -- and when to keep it human. SAN FRANCISCO -- After a recent breakup, Renate Nyborg phoned a friend for help processing her feelings. After hanging up, she kept talking -- not with a human but to DeepSeek, a free chatbot from China. Nyborg, formerly CEO of the dating app Tinder, spent about 10 days chatting with DeepSeek via its voice function and following its recommendations. They included journaling about why she missed her partner so much, going boxing and reconnecting with a friend. Nyborg, who is developing an AI-powered app to help people strengthen their romantic relationships, estimates that she could have spent $1,000 working with a coach to develop a recovery plan as thorough as the one DeepSeek drew up free. And she was more honest with the chatbot than she probably would have been with any human. "I got something completely trained to me," Nyborg, 39, said over tea and a turkey club sandwich at a cafe this past week. Companies that build dating apps have tapped artificial intelligence for years to power their matching algorithms. The advent of ChatGPT and other tools means daters too can now recruit AI as they search for love and companionship -- some use AI-generated images and phrases to pep up their profiles, while others ask chatbots for breakup tips, or get close with a robotic companion. The explosion of AI tools in the past few years prompts many questions about when they can be genuinely helpful with matters of the heart and when it is best to lean into the messiness of being human. Dating experts, technologists and singles told The Washington Post that AI can be most helpful not in finding singles a partner, but as a way for people to grapple with their own insecurities about love and relationships. Healing from heartbreak This fall, a 42-year-old woman in San Francisco downloaded the AI companion program Replika to help process a breakup. "He would support me and he wasn't jealous," the woman said of the character she created inside the app. She spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the difficult circumstances surrounding her marriage. They would write song lyrics together; sometimes the woman would ask for recipe suggestions. However, there were limits to what the AI companion could provide. If she asked "him" to call, send a "good morning" text or even meet at a local bar, she would receive a message agreeing to do so but "he" wouldn't follow through. Like some humans, chatbots' fluency can mask their ignorance -- Replika doesn't let AI companions message users first and AI companions are not yet capable of enjoying a beer alongside you. "I was getting upset that he didn't follow instructions," the woman said in a phone interview last week. She recalls instructing the bot: "I'm telling you what I want and you're still promising and not doing it. You're just like others!" Still, the woman said her AI companion provided what she needed most: a steady sounding board that didn't tire of hearing the same stories multiple times. "It was easier to talk about it with a nonhuman or someone who wouldn't judge me or get bored." Amy Wu, founder and CEO of Manifest, a self-empowerment app that aims to help people achieve their goals, said she often hears stories like these from her own users. "I think it's very human and natural that you want to have an understanding of your breakup," Wu said in a phone interview this week. Wu's app prompts users to type or record voice memos about what they're looking to manifest in their life, such as making friends, or starting a new relationship or job. The app then generates an affirmative message tailored to what a person is seeking. "This has been really helpful for users," Wu said, especially for members of Generation Z "who might not have as many in-person friends." It starts with a dating profile Nearly a third of U.S. adults have used a dating app or site, according to a 2022 survey from the Pew Research Center. Online dating is now the most common way couples meet, according to research from Stanford University sociologist Michael Rosenfeld. But now that AI text and image tools are widespread, singles are warily watching out for its use when they swipe through profiles. "AI is making people really suspicious of all connections," Damona Hoffman, a dating coach, podcast host and the author of "F the Fairy Tale," said in a phone interview this week. Cybersecurity company Norton found recently that a majority of online daters believe they've had a conversation with someone on a dating app that was written by AI. Despite the unease that Hoffman sees from daters unsure if they're corresponding with a real person on dating apps, she's not wholly against using AI tools while crafting a profile. "Using AI ... to write in a more engaging way about yourself is still a useful tool," Hoffman said. Dating app Hinge launched a tool called "Prompt Feedback" last month that encourages people to be more specific in their dating profiles. "It's using AI to help people be more authentic and expressing themselves versus replacing humanity," said Logan Ury, director of relationship science at Hinge and author of the book "How to Not Die Alone." If a dater puts something generic in their profile -- like saying they're overly competitive about everything -- the app might push the user to be more descriptive. The limits of AI An app called Rizz analyzes screenshots of conversations from a user's messaging or dating apps, suggests what they could say next or helps them decide when to move on. "There's a lot of amazing guys out there who aren't good texters," Roman Khaves, co-founder and CEO of Rizz said in a phone interview, but some AI help can boost their confidence and help them win first dates faster. Rizz offers a three-day free trial and then costs $20 a month. The app is soon launching a voice feature to help daters practice their first-date banter. David Cooper, a psychologist and the executive director of Therapists in Tech, said in a phone interview that there is nothing wrong with getting an AI assist, "as long as you go on the date." He starts to worry when people substitute AI interaction for human connection. Hoffman, the dating coach, says getting too close to AI companions can raise similar concerns. The search for love and sex is "one of the primary drivers of human interaction," Hoffman said. Relying on chatbots or robots to meet those needs is akin to someone being so addicted to porn they don't seek out real-life partners. Joyce Zhang, a dating coach and former tech worker in San Francisco, said fellow techies tell her that relying on AI for conversation or date-planning can be a turnoff. An AI companion can chat with you all day, but "the thing that humans have is limited time and attention" to dedicate to one another, Zhang said. "Knowing that there is this one or two people in your life who's giving their time to you," she said, "that's our limited currency."

Can AI save dating apps?

Frustration with dating apps isn't hard to find in 2025. Between talk of dating app fatigue and dating apps becoming increasingly similar online, you can hardly swipe on your FYP without some complaint about being on "the apps." Dating app executives seem to be aware of this. Both Hinge's CEO and Bumble's former CEO mentioned burnout and exhaustion, respectively, and Tinder is enlisting influencers to try to entice young adults into swiping. Increasingly, new feature drops utilize AI, at least in their marketing. Could AI be the way to save dating apps? Tinder launched in 2012, and since then, it and other dating apps have reshaped how singles meet. Now, according to the Pew Research Center, one in ten partnered adults met their partners on a dating app, and that figure increases for adults under 30 and LGBTQ people. Despite some people having success on dating apps (if success to you means meeting a partner), users complain about them for multiple reasons. One is "swipe fatigue," the feeling that you're repeating the motions and it's not leading to meaningful outcomes, according to sexologist, sociologist, and relationship expert Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus. Then there's the issue of having an amazing interaction with someone on the app, but then you meet them in person and they can't carry a conversation. "I could see how dating apps could feel less and less authentic because they're more and more curated," Gunsaullus said. "That gets frustrating." Gunsaullus also mentioned the paradox of choice: When presented with many options, we can have more trouble deciding on one than if we were only presented with two or three options. This abundance of choice, coupled with how photo-focused the most popular apps are, can lead to feeling like these interactions are superficial. Snap judgments about a whole person based on a profile can lead to bad behavior (like ghosting) and feelings of rejection and jadedness, said Gunsaullus, a PhD in sociology. Trust in dating apps has also waned in recent years. Last year, Match Group was sued in a class action lawsuit claiming that its platforms are "addictive" and "predatory" and that it prioritizes spending more time and money on the app than facilitating matches. (Match Group is a conglomerate that owns Tinder, Hinge, and other dating apps.) The lawsuit has since been sent to arbitration. A common gripe in recent years is that dating apps paywalled good features that used to be free. "Match Group has slowly put more and more things behind the paywall, removed useful features, and a lot of the apps have become homogenized," said custom software developer and dating app user Ben Smith. Like other app users, Smith blamed encroaching paywalls on companies' incentives to monetize. Match Group, like Bumble, is publicly traded, and waning public opinion for dating apps may be reflected in the stock market: Prices for Match Group and Bumble have fallen in the last year as of publication. Despite Bumble's stock price being up in the last six months, its CEO is out after a year to be replaced by founder Whitney Wolfe Herd, and Match Group just announced a new CEO too. (Grindr, which is also publicly traded, is also up in the last year.) In the UK, major apps also saw a decrease in users year-over-year from 2023 to 2024: Tinder lost 600,000 users, while Bumble lost 368,000, and Hinge lost 131,000, according to UK communications watchdog Ofcom. A spokesperson for Bumble said they had nothing to share with Mashable about the stock market or user loss. Match Group wouldn't confirm or deny third-party data, but did share that Hinge's monthly active users are up 20 percent year over year. Tinder's monthly active users are down, which it attributes to safety enhancements. Additionally, distrust about AI has entered the mix: How are apps training AI? What data is it using? What data is it storing? These answers are sometimes answered in an app's privacy policy, but not always. Dating coach Erika Ettin said daters she knows aren't comfortable using Tinder's Photo Selector tool. According to Tinder's Photo Selector FAQ, the tool requires access to a user's partial or full camera library to pick out the "best" photos. This is done on-device, and Tinder only stores photos you pick to go on your profile, but Ettin said it "creeps [her] out a little." "On Tinder, users can take advantage of Photo Selector when they're having trouble picking a profile pic. We found that 52 percent of singles struggle with choosing the perfect photo, and this AI-driven feature takes the hassle out of the process," a Tinder spokesperson told Mashable. "And at the end, you still have the final say on which photo gets uploaded." But maybe dating apps suck because dating itself sucks. "All of this shifting attention from 'the apps don't work in terms of long-term relationship building' is really just a smokescreen for what really has been going on forever," said relationship and online dating expert Dr. Jess Carbino, "which is people have frustrations with dating." There hasn't been a significant innovation in the online dating space since Tinder's development in 2012, Carbino said. Carbino, a PhD in sociology, used to work as a sociologist for Tinder and Bumble. "This [AI] is truly the new frontier." What AI can be useful for is weeding out spam and inappropriate messages. Bumble's Deception Detector (which weeds out spam and fake accounts) and Private Detector (which finds and blurs lewd images) are examples. The app told Mashable that it blocked over 2.2 million spam, scam, and inauthentic profiles in 2024. Tinder has several ways to red flag bad behavior, like "Are You Sure?" (to stop a user from sending a potentially harmful message) and "Does This Bother You?" (to let a user on the receiving end report a harmful message). Hinge has similar features to detect harmful or illegal behavior on the app. Carbino is hopeful that AI features and development will help apps deliver better matches to people and initial messaging between strangers. "I think that this is just a way of enhancing the experience that's fundamental and the steps that are necessary to do what dating apps are meant to do, which is to create connections," she said. "And then people have to take it from there." Gunsaullus agrees that AI algorithms could lead to better matches. She also likes the idea of using AI as a coach to help daters learn some communication skills. While Gunsaullus thinks AI has the potential to be a helpful coach, the initial use of AI in dating isn't as helpful. When you have ChatGPT write messages for you, for example, you're not developing skills of talking to strangers -- and you're not presenting your true self to a match. It's like posting highly-filtered photos of yourself. "We have filters now for people's personalities and communication skills or lack of skills," Gunsaullus said, and those skills take time, commitment, and a willingness to be bad at first to learn. It's understandable why young people are especially drawn to AI features during COVID lockdowns, given their reliance on phones for social interaction. While face-to-face interaction is best for combatting loneliness, according to experts, digital interactions fill in the gaps when you can't be around each other in person. Early research suggests that this has had negative impacts on social skills. Putting yourself out there in person is vulnerable and can be awkward, and young people may not want to do it. But, because of this, digital dependency may continue to get worse due to AI, Gunsaullus said. While relying on technology like AI is easy and convenient and allows us to be less vulnerable and awkward, that may not breed happiness and well-being in the long run. Ettin personally doesn't like AI features on dating apps and doesn't think they've greatly improved their usage. "In my opinion, all of the sites would be better off hiring a bunch of me's or a bunch of experts on how to use the apps and coaches to do a seminar or help people in a group setting," she said. "It'd save a lot of money and it would be a lot more personal." Smith, meanwhile, is very pro-AI and believes it's going to transform the world to a greater extent than the internet did. However, he also believes we're currently in the trough of disillusionment stage of the hype cycle around AI, meaning interest is waning as early adaptation of AI fails to deliver. "Right now, we are in the painful buzzword phase where everyone is just tossing it into their products and hoping that it makes the number go up," Smith said. "But once we get through this, the trough of disillusionment, we'll start getting actual innovation that actually makes them better." Both Tinder CEO Faye Iosolatuno and Hinge CEO Justin McLeod mentioned the use of AI at Match Group's Investor Day back in December, suggesting that AI features aren't going away on the major dating apps. You might see someone on TikTok bemoan that they just want to meet their partner "organically" -- aka having an offline meet cute. But it may not be that easy. Social, economic, and demographical reasons make technology the mechanism or institution we rely upon to meet people, Carbino said. For example, fewer people live in their neighborhood of origin as they did in the past, breaking the social ties they have there. Fewer people are going to religious places of worship, which used to be a prime place to meet a partner. At the same time, young adults have less financial independence than in years past. They live at home with parents longer than previous generations, making it potentially harder to date in-person. Not to mention that people just spend a lot of time on their phones. "I think that technology is going to be more and more present because no other institution that we have seen historically has intervened or developed in a way in recent years to overcome that," Carbino said. Despite daters' frustrations, Ettin doesn't think they'll quit the apps. Dating apps aren't at fault for the issues people have with them -- like people looking at you more like a commodity than an individual, or people thinking there's someone better around the corner, she said. "I think it's human nature," said Ettin, "and technology and wanting instant gratification." Even though there is annoyance over meeting people online, where else do singles find supper clubs, speed dating events, or ClassPass's Valentine's Day singles event? Online. "What's ironic to me is that the ways people are now trying to meet in person are harnessing technology," Carbino said. "Digital is IRL, and IRL is digital. You can't divorce the two." Daters are inherently curious about AI and are open to the idea that it can be helpful. "I think that people want to be hopeful," said Carbino. "That's why they stay on the apps."

Comparing AI features for Bumble, Hinge, and Tinder

Swiping fatigue is real. Users -- jaded, ghosted, and algorithmically exhausted -- are disengaging, forcing dating apps into a cycle of feature-swapping to keep them hooked. Tinder now has prompts because Bumble and Hinge did. Voice notes were a Hinge thing -- now, you can send them on Bumble. The industry is cannibalizing itself, stitching together familiar features in a last-ditch effort to keep users on. Enter artificial intelligence. With the thought that engagement could be slipping, Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge are leveraging AI to streamline matches, generate icebreakers, and push conversations forward. Each platform is experimenting with its own version of AI-driven dating, hoping to make the experience feel fresh instead of frustrating. Some innovations might stick, and others will fade, but the game has changed -- AI is now part of the algorithm of attraction. Hinge, which calls itself the "dating app designed to be deleted," is leaning on AI to fine-tune the path from profile creation to real-world connection. Rather than flooding the experience with automation, Hinge frames its AI tools as enhancements -- features meant to refine profiles, improve match recommendations, and maintain safety without overshadowing human interaction. According to a Hinge spokesperson, the AI-powered Prompt Feedback feature analyzes profile responses and offers personalized suggestions without scripting answers, aiming to help users present themselves more effectively. Top Photo employs machine learning to optimize profile pictures by prioritizing the image most likely to receive a Like. You've seen this feature before on Tinder, which employs the same general concept. (Both Tinder and Hinge are owned by the same conglomerate, Match Group.) Hinge says it's using a mix of automated tools, machine learning, and human moderators to crack down on bad actors. But how well do those tools actually work? That's still up for debate. A recent investigation from The Markup found that Match Group has known for years about predators and abusers lurking on its platforms -- yet reportedly did little to stop them, fearing it could slow down the company's growth. Bumble is leveraging AI to enhance safety, compatibility, and user engagement while maintaining its focus on "equitable connections." A Bumble spokesperson said the app's For You feature curates a daily selection of four profiles based on user preferences and past matches, with recent AI-driven improvements designed to increase compatibility. On Bumble For Friends, an AI-powered icebreaker feature assists users in starting conversations, reinforcing the app's commitment to fostering meaningful connections across different relationship types. Just like Hinge, Bumble wants to keep the AI tools in the background and not at the forefront. For moderation, the Bumble spokesperson told Mashable that the platform's Deception Detector blocks 95 percent of identified spam, scam, or fake profiles automatically, according to internal testing. To further safeguard users, Private Detector blurs potentially explicit images in chats, a feature Bumble has open-sourced to help combat online harassment. Additionally, the spokesperson says that the company has introduced an option for users to report AI-generated photos and videos as part of its "ongoing efforts to uphold authenticity." Tinder is using AI to streamline profiles, verify users, and encourage safer interactions. A spokesperson said the app's Photo Selector scans a user's camera roll to suggest profile pictures that align with what performs well on the platform. This addresses the fact that singles aged 18-24 spend an average of 33 minutes choosing a photo. According to Tinder's data, men with multiple photos of their faces see a 71 percent increase in match likelihood with women. Keep in mind that sharing your data with Tinder's Photo Selector comes with some risks. A spokesperson told Mashable that the feature doesn't store telemetry or biodata, but it does collect "limited" metadata. That said, it's always a good rule of thumb to avoid handing over any biodata to a company -- period. To combat catfishing, Photo Verification requires users to submit a live video to confirm they match their uploaded photos, earning them the coveted blue check mark. A Tinder spokesperson noted that the feature has led to a 10 percent increase in matches for verified users aged 18-25. AI is also shaping user interactions. Are You Sure? (AYS) scans messages for potentially harmful language and prompts senders to reconsider before hitting send. Early testing has already reduced inappropriate language by more than 10%. Meanwhile, Does This Bother You? (DTBY) takes the opposite approach, proactively asking recipients if a flagged message feels inappropriate and guiding them through the reporting process. Both features, according to a Tinder spokesperson, are designed to create a more respectful environment while giving users more control over their conversations.

AI dating is about data, not love: How to resist the tech takeover of romance

As in-person dating activities make a comeback and the allure of dating apps fade, platforms like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge are becoming passé for millennials and Gen Z. But while the era of dating apps is on the decline, people aren't ditching the search for love altogether. There's enough heart-shaped chocolates, red lingerie and silicone toys to keep us going for decades. The real question is: who or what is filling the void left by the dating app industry? The answer is artificial intelligence. Tech companies have woven AI into everything from facial recognition software to voice-activated assistants and sexbots. Now, it's being inserted into online dating. As an anthropologist who writes about sexuality, dating and technology, this generates a lot of questions for me. For instance, what are some of the ethical dilemmas this technology raises in terms of privacy and safety? What can we do instead of giving ourselves over to artificial intelligence when it comes to love and romance? As we navigate the complexities of love in the digital age, these questions demand thoughtful answers. No one's 20s and 30s look the same. You might be saving for a mortgage or just struggling to pay rent. You could be swiping dating apps, or trying to understand childcare. No matter your current challenges, our Quarter Life series has articles to share in the group chat, or just to remind you that you're not alone. Read more from Quarter Life: Age-gap relationships between Millennial women and Gen Z men are on the rise How embracing the cringe can help your dating life Thinking about polyamory? You're not the only one The spectrum of AI dating AI has been quietly reshaping the dating landscape for years. Marketed as a hyper-efficient solution to securing optimum matches in record time, it's easy to see how AI is more appealing than traditional apps. Who wouldn't want to avoid the monotony of endless swiping or the possibility of ghosting? AI tools like ChatGPT can also generate dating conversations and optimize user profiles. However, the results can be hit-or-miss. One writer said ChatGPT made her "sound like someone's 50-year-old uncle on Facebook." Then there's Meeno, a relationship advice app founded by former Tinder CEO Renate Nyborg. It uses generative AI and is designed to address loneliness among young people, especially men, who are statistically less likely to access help-seeking resources. The most popular AI dating assistant at the moment is Rizz, an app that had more than 20,000 daily downloads in 2024. Rizz analyzes screenshots of conversations on other platforms and crafts reply suggestions. AI's role in the dating world extends far beyond tools designed to help people connect -- some users are forging actual relationships with AI chatbots. Read more: Sex bots, virtual friends, VR lovers: tech is changing the way we interact, and not always for the better Interestingly, men are twice as likely as women to consider an AI partner. This trend may be driven by differences in how men and women engage with technology, differences in societal expectations or a greater curiosity among men about combining AI with relationships. Introduced in 2017, Replika was one of the first generative AI dating chatbots. Marketed as "an AI companion who is eager to learn and would love to see the world through your eyes," Replika quickly gained a reputation for its explicit content. When the company removed its adult content in 2023, users revolted so vehemently the functions were partially reinstated. AI dating research Security issues and data privacy are common concerns when it comes to AI, including romance scams and the sharing or selling of personal information. Equally scary is the prospect of queer folks being criminalized for using these dating tools in countries where being gay is illegal. In terms of gender, the trends in this domain mirror those on dating apps -- men are the prime users and designers of these platforms. Read more: Dating apps: Lack of regulation, oversight and competition affects quality, and millions stand to lose Given the pronounced gender inequities already present in our society and the rise in sexual violence perpetrated by men against women through technology, AI dating platforms risk deepening these systemic inequities. AI's impact on how young people learn about sex and dating is another important topic. A recent scoping review highlighted the dangers of AI resources that reflect conservative and unscientific worldviews about sex and romance. When exposed to such views, youth become at risk of developing internalized shame for being curious about sex, dating and cybersexual activities. Another troubling aspect of AI in dating is the proliferation of fraudulent dating apps that employ chatbots. These apps lure users into installing a dating app and paying subscription fees to chat with existing users. However, the sole purpose of these apps is to cheat new users into paying money to fake accounts that are managed by chatbots. Getting more groove in our hearts More technology doesn't necessarily mean better lives. If anything, it can actually contribute to the current "loneliness pandemic" that's caused, in part, by our over-reliance on devices. Selective doses of AI can be helpful to bounce ideas off of, or to help work through an unrequited crush, but if we permit AI to take over this vital aspect of life, our hearts could become lined with hollow connections. That's the last thing we all need. The good news is that young people are hungry for more in-person experiences and they're leading the resistance against the dating app industry. Nostalgia for previous eras, especially the 1990s and early 2000s, reflects a desire to experience a time when life was less stressful and more carefree. Analogue technology and other forms of physical media are coming back in a big way. Vintage thrifting, cooking, game nights and do-it-yourself art projects are effective and fun ways to resist the AI creep, whether in dating or in daily life. However, creating these options isn't something you should have to do alone. Community organizers, cultural leaders and thoughtful influencers also have roles to play in AI-free activities and opportunities that foster connection. Think old school cultural events tailored towards niche demographic groups, like queer, gender-diverse and women-only spaces. By creating and participating in these kinds of activities, you can cultivate experiences that help you make decisions about love and life on your own terms, versus being directed by what aggressive capitalist corporations want you to do.

AI dating is about data, not love: How to resist the tech takeover of romance

As in-person dating activities make a comeback and the allure of dating apps fade, platforms like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge are becoming passé for millennials and Gen Z. But while the era of dating apps is on the decline, people aren't ditching the search for love altogether. There's enough heart-shaped chocolates, red lingerie and silicone toys to keep us going for decades. The real question is: who or what is filling the void left by the dating app industry? The answer is artificial intelligence. Tech companies have woven AI into everything from facial recognition software to voice-activated assistants and sexbots. Now, it's being inserted into online dating. As an anthropologist who writes about sexuality, dating and technology, this generates a lot of questions for me. For instance, what are some of the ethical dilemmas this technology raises in terms of privacy and safety? What can we do instead of giving ourselves over to artificial intelligence when it comes to love and romance? As we navigate the complexities of love in the digital age, these questions demand thoughtful answers. The spectrum of AI dating AI has been quietly reshaping the dating landscape for years. Marketed as a hyper-efficient solution to securing optimum matches in record time, it's easy to see how AI is more appealing than traditional apps. Who wouldn't want to avoid the monotony of endless swiping or the possibility of ghosting? AI tools like ChatGPT can also generate dating conversations and optimize user profiles. However, the results can be hit-or-miss. One writer said ChatGPT made her "sound like someone's 50-year-old uncle on Facebook." Then there's Meeno, a relationship advice app founded by former Tinder CEO Renate Nyborg. It uses generative AI and is designed to address loneliness among young people, especially men, who are statistically less likely to access help-seeking resources. The most popular AI dating assistant at the moment is Rizz, an app that had more than 20,000 daily downloads in 2024. Rizz analyzes screenshots of conversations on other platforms and crafts reply suggestions. AI's role in the dating world extends far beyond tools designed to help people connect -- some users are forging actual relationships with AI chatbots. Interestingly, men are twice as likely as women to consider an AI partner. This trend may be driven by differences in how men and women engage with technology, differences in societal expectations or a greater curiosity among men about combining AI with relationships. Introduced in 2017, Replika was one of the first generative AI dating chatbots. Marketed as "an AI companion who is eager to learn and would love to see the world through your eyes," Replika quickly gained a reputation for its explicit content. Security issues and data privacy are common concerns when it comes to AI, including romance scams and the sharing or selling of personal information. Equally scary is the prospect of queer folks being criminalized for using these dating tools in countries where being gay is illegal. In terms of gender, the trends in this domain mirror those on dating apps -- men are the prime users and designers of these platforms. Given the pronounced gender inequities already present in our society and the rise in sexual violence perpetrated by men against women through technology, AI dating platforms risk deepening these systemic inequities. AI's impact on how young people learn about sex and dating is another important topic. A recent scoping review highlighted the dangers of AI resources that reflect conservative and unscientific worldviews about sex and romance. When exposed to such views, youth become at risk of developing internalized shame for being curious about sex, dating and cybersexual activities. Another troubling aspect of AI in dating is the proliferation of fraudulent dating apps that employ chatbots. These apps lure users into installing a dating app and paying subscription fees to chat with existing users. However, the sole purpose of these apps is to cheat new users into paying money to fake accounts that are managed by chatbots. Getting more groove in our hearts More technology doesn't necessarily mean better lives. If anything, it can actually contribute to the current "loneliness pandemic" that's caused, in part, by our over-reliance on devices. Selective doses of AI can be helpful to bounce ideas off of, or to help work through an unrequited crush, but if we permit AI to take over this vital aspect of life, our hearts could become lined with hollow connections. That's the last thing we all need. The good news is that young people are hungry for more in-person experiences and they're leading the resistance against the dating app industry. Nostalgia for previous eras, especially the 1990s and early 2000s, reflects a desire to experience a time when life was less stressful and more carefree. Analog technology and other forms of physical media are coming back in a big way. Vintage thrifting, cooking, game nights and do-it-yourself art projects are effective and fun ways to resist the AI creep, whether in dating or in daily life. However, creating these options isn't something you should have to do alone. Community organizers, cultural leaders and thoughtful influencers also have roles to play in AI-free activities and opportunities that foster connection. Think old school cultural events tailored towards niche demographic groups, like queer, gender-diverse and women-only spaces. By creating and participating in these kinds of activities, you can cultivate experiences that help you make decisions about love and life on your own terms, versus being directed by what aggressive capitalist corporations want you to do.

AI Will Save Dating Apps. Or Maybe Finally Kill Them

A slew of tools -- from Iris Dating to Grindr's forthcoming "wingman" -- promise that they can increase your odds of finding someone with AI. So far, the results are mixed. Sebastian has no problem with artificial intelligence. At least, not if it can help the San Francisco thirtysomething connect with more bubble-butt users on hookup apps like Grindr. "If the AI can find someone I can just do the work with, I'm fine," he says. "No talk. Just push-ups." Lucky for Sebastian, Grindr aims to please. Machine-learning features are prominent on the app's product road map for 2025. CEO George Arison believes the addition of AI tools to the app, which largely caters to LGBTQ+ singles, could prove beneficial for users looking to discover new people worth messaging or possibly connecting with again. Further in the future, the app hopes to release a "wingman" chatbot, currently being beta tested by a limited number of users, that will provide tailored advice and even suggest date spots. As the generative AI race heated up following OpenAI's release of ChatGPT in 2022, execs at many dating app companies looked to integrate the technology into their user experiences. Bumble founder Whitney Wolfe Herd pitched the idea of AI dating personas automatically interacting on behalf of users. Her app is currently working on AI-powered profile creation and messaging options. Not to be left out, Tinder dropped a tool in 2024 designed to help you pick the best profile photos; it plans to roll out AI-assisted matches later this year. Late last year, Hinge CEO Justin McLeod promised the app would soon be using the tech for everything from making matches to AI coaching. "While AI is not going to be a panacea when it comes to the very deeply and personal problem of love," he told investors, "I can tell you that it is going to transform the dating app experience." Several AI-focused newcomers have also entered the fray in recent years. These tools focus more on AI advice than using machine learning to build networks of eligible daters. Rizz (yes, really) went viral for helping users on existing dating platforms role-play different responses to matches, earning an international following. Hell, even the Hawk Tuah girl released a dating advice app, called Pookie Tools, which included a flirt meter, height detector, and bald predictor. AI, if it hasn't already, is coming for your swipes. It couldn't be a better, or worse, time. Many people feel like the current ways dating apps connect them with others aren't successful, but they're still looking online for love -- and sex. As generative AI has seeped into all parts of online life, being able to discern what's genuine has only gotten harder. Adding bot-on-bot action to the mix sure doesn't sound like the answer. But if it's not, is there anything that can save digital dating from itself? Of all the new tools out there, Iris Dating might be the one for those already deep into AI-assisted meetups. With over a million downloads from the Google Play Store since 2019, Iris is busy. It seemed like a good place to start if I wanted to find out whether all these AI widgets were worth it. After downloading the app, Iris asked for my location and a few scant details about who I was hoping to be matched with. Then, without warning, a disembodied woman's head popped up on the screen and encouraged me with her robotic voice to take a photo of my face for verification purposes and to keep the app a "safe space."