ChatGPT Enters the Relationship Arena: Couples Use AI to Win Arguments

Couples are using AI to fight -- and win -- arguments: 'ChatGPT...

ChatGPT can be used for virtually anything, and in the world of romance, people have used the artificial intelligence tool to plan their weddings, write their wedding vows, score matches on Tinder and find online companionship -- even if they're happily married. Now couples are going further than using AI to nourish their relationships -- they're using ChatGPT to help them win arguments in a fight. One person took to Reddit to share that their girlfriend uses the platform "every time we have a disagreement." "AITAH [Am I The A-hole] for saying she needs to stop?" the person asked in the AITAH subreddit. The 25-year-old man explained that he and his 28-year-old girlfriend have had a couple of big arguments as well as a few smaller disagreements in their eight months of dating. And every time they have a disagreement, the girlfriend "will go away and discuss the argument" with ChatGPT -- even sometimes while still in the same room. He continued to say that when she does this, "she'll then come back with a well-constructed argument breaking down everything I said or did during our argument." "I've explained to her that I don't like her doing so as it can feel like I'm being ambushed with thoughts and opinions from a robot. It's nearly impossible for a human being to remember every small detail and break it down bit by bit but AI has no issue doing so," the user wrote. He said that whenever he expresses his feelings about the situation, he's told by his girlfriend that "ChatGPT says you're insecure" or "ChatGPT says you don't have the emotional bandwidth to understand what I'm saying." "My big issue is it's her formulating the prompts so if she explains that I'm in the wrong, it's going to agree without me having a chance to explain things," he wrote. Many people in the comments agreed with the user, noting that ChatGPT is "biased to the user's input." "It's literally programmed to tell you exactly what you want to hear. Discuss her actions with ChatGPT from your perspective and it'll do the exact same thing to her," the commenter said. "Show her how it's biased and only serves as an artificial form of self-validation." Someone else added, "I noticed that...it is programmed to reinforce your position. It's machine learning to an absurd degree, but still machine learning. It asks people to rate the responses. She thinks it's impartial because it's a robot, but it's a robot programmed to tell people what they want to hear." One user even put the man's situation back into ChatGPT to ask if they were indeed the a-hole in the situation, and ChatGPT itself said: "While AI can be helpful for many things, it shouldn't replace genuine, human-to-human conversations that are nuanced, emotional, and require empathy...While AI can provide thoughtful input, it's not a substitute for emotional intelligence and understanding the complexity of relationships." The AI tool also noted that, "As you mentioned, the way she frames her prompts affects the advice or feedback she gets. If she primarily explains the situation in a way that favors her side, the response will likely mirror that. This makes it a one-sided tool rather than a fair mediator." Others joked that the man should tell his girlfriend that ChatGPT told him he should break up with her. "Respond with ChatGPT until she gets the point," someone quipped. "Tell her you consulted with ChatGPT and it told you to break up with her," another said. "NTA. Tell her to put this prompt in: 'How do I break up with my girlfriend?'" a user joked.

Man Outgunned as Girlfriend Brings ChatGPT Ammo to Every Argument

AI has weaseled its way into many aspects of daily life, and romantic relationships are no exception. But society hasn't quite figured out how tools like ChatGPT factor into matters of the heart, leading one frustrated partner to ask Reddit for advice. He says his girlfriend won't stop consulting ChatGPT for backup during their arguments, and wants her to stop. "Each time we argue, my girlfriend will go away and discuss the argument with ChatGPT, even doing so in the same room sometimes," he says. "Whenever she does this, she'll then come back with a well-constructed argument breaking down everything I said or did during our argument." The 25-year-old user, who did not post his real name, posted his dilemma on a subreddit titled "Am I The Asshole (AITAH)," prompting a discussion about whether the problem lies in the relationship or the technology. "While I disagree with [her] use of ChatGPT, have you considered maybe that she has a hard time communicating and is using it to assist her?" says one commenter. "You might want to come up with same ways to communicate more effectively so she doesn't feel she needs the assistance of ChatGPT." The poster says he feels "ambushed with thoughts and opinions from a robot," and worries ChatGPT could be offering one-sided advice based on the prompts his girlfriend asks it. Some commenters agreed the technology can be biased or designed to reinforce the opinion of the question-asker, though that could likely be remedied by including in the prompt a request for ChatGPT to speak to both sides of the issue. Others have found AI helpful in understanding their relationships and communicating more effectively. "It was actually incredibly insightful," says one Redditor who entered an argument with his wife into ChatGPT. "It explained that the issue seems to stem from a fundamental difference in the way my wife and I make decisions. Now we know why we're arguing." Therapists have differing opinions on the evolving role of AI in mental health. "An AI therapist is not equivalent to a human therapist," says Ben Caldwell, a licensed family and marriage therapist in California. "Being present with another person, accepting them as they are, and relating to them from an outside perspective, is healing in ways that machines, no matter how sophisticated, will never be able to duplicate." Caldwell admits AI-based therapy has advantages of being cheaper, or even free, without needing to make an appointment. That could be why businesses are cropping up to provide AI couples therapy, such as Maia, a Y Combinator-backed mobile app. Personality-based AI companions, such as the Nomi.ai app, take it a step further, seeking to replace or augment human relationships. "Whether you're looking for an AI friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, fantasy partner, or someone else, Nomi is ready!" says the company website. However, founder Alex Cantrelli tells PCMag he has spoken with users who see their so-called "Nomi" as "filling a gap where there is no human" in their lives, and that some have gone to therapy after being encouraged by their Nomi.

AI in real-life usage: Can't win an argument with your partner? Get ChatGPT to do it for you

Fallen out with your partner? That's nothing new, all couples have disagreements - or even more full-on arguments at times - but one person's solution, namely turning to AI, has gone viral for reasons that, well, you'll see. This comes to us courtesy of a post on Reddit by 'Drawss4scoress' on r/AmITheA**hole (or AITAH) where as you can guess, people ask whether they might be, shall we say - in the wrong. To sum up the gist of this scenario, Drawss4scoress has been dating their girlfriend for eight months, and every time they argue, to quote the Redditor: "My girlfriend will go away and discuss the argument with ChatGPT, even doing so in the same room sometimes. Whenever she does this she'll then come back with a well constructed argument breaking down everything I said or did during our argument. "I've explained to her that I don't like her doing so as it can feel like I'm being ambushed with thoughts and opinions from a robot .... Whenever I've voiced my upset I've been told that 'ChatGPT says you're insecure' or 'ChatGPT says you don't have the emotional bandwidth to understand what I'm saying.'" The irony is staggering there, of course, and you can read the full post above. As the Redditor observes, part of the issue here is that their partner is formulating the queries, which is likely to bias the AI heavily towards acknowledging and agreeing with her. The obvious response, for us, is to take those ChatGPT-formulated counterarguments, plug them into ChatGPT - or maybe a different AI just for variety (Gemini, perhaps) - and reply in kind. In an ideal world, you could just hook up your respective AIs together, sprinkle in your prompts on both sides, let them hash it out, and spit out an ultimate result - which you could both then abide by. In all seriousness, there are some valid replies and observations in the thread discussing this on Reddit, one of which notes that if you ask ChatGPT what it thinks of this post, even the AI itself observes: "While AI can be helpful for many things, it shouldn't replace genuine, human-to-human conversations that are nuanced, emotional, and require empathy." We asked Copilot what it made of this particular scenario (Image Credit: Microsoft) We checked Copilot's opinion of the situation, too, and Microsoft's (ChatGPT-based) AI told us: "Try to understand why she turns to AI. Is it because she feels more confident with structured arguments? Addressing her reasons might help find a more balanced approach. "Remind her that respect and empathy are crucial in any relationship. Dismissing your feelings by quoting AI isn't productive and may harm trust and intimacy. At the end of the day, it's essential to communicate and understand each other without external crutches." This whole affair points out a key weakness with AI, at least in terms of the way it is perceived by many humans - as some kind of all-knowing authoritarian expert. When, in fact, it's drawing material from all number of sources, which vary in quality, and as noted it'll always be skewed heavily towards what it detects as the user's expectations. If it validates the user, then that user is more likely to return and feed the AI again, of course, and keep on plugging in those queries (and maybe subscribing). There's lots to worry about in terms of the direction AI is headed in, and we've heard plenty of warnings on this subject ever since ChatGPT sparked into life. One of the more concerning aspects, perhaps, is always going to be how us humans actually use AI, and understand tools like ChatGPT, Copilot, or Gemini - or indeed fail to understand them. That, and the danger that AI poses in terms of environmental catastrophe with its spiraling demands on our data centers and the amount of power sucked from the grid therein.

Couples are using ChatGPT to fight now

In the arena of love, people have used ChatGPT and other chatbots to flirt for them, date for them, and even try to catch men lying about their height. Now, the LLM is deployed to "win" fights against one's partner. "My girlfriend uses Chat GPT every time we have a disagreement. AITAH [Am I The Asshole] for saying she needs to stop?" So asked Reddit user drawss4scoress on r/AITA, a subreddit to ask if you're in the wrong for any given situation. As the user, who described himself as a 25-year-old man, said, his 28-year-old girlfriend of eight months "discusses" arguments with ChatGPT whenever they fight, even in the same room. This girlfriend will apparently come back to the argument with conversation points from ChatGPT. She'll say that ChatGPT called her boyfriend insecure, or that he doesn't have the emotional bandwidth for what she's saying. "My big issue is it's her formulating the prompts so if she explains that i'm [sic] in the wrong, it's going to agree without me having a chance to explain things," drawss4scoress wrote. While this story isn't verified as true (and drawss4scoress didn't respond to Mashable's request for comment), it's believable enough to indicate something about the current state of interpersonal communication. Communication is hard, especially when talking through a disagreement. We might not know how to work through conflict, because it was never modeled to us -- that's why guides to setting boundaries (and viral templates to set boundaries) exist. This can be especially true for younger adults who came of age during lockdown. During the brunt of the pandemic, Gen Z missed out on face-to-face social interaction at work and beyond. Nearly half (44 percent) told Hinge they had little-to-no dating experience at the start of 2024, with Gen Z 47 percent more likely than millennials to say the pandemic made them nervous to talk to new people. Digital communication was (and still likely is) king -- and we know how people fight online. It's not surprising, then, that this girlfriend would resort to ChatGPT to figure out what to say in an argument. But whereas the LLM tells her her boyfriend doesn't have the emotional bandwidth, that actually might be the case for her if she can't work through a fight on her own. Even ChatGPT says not to do this (according to a commenter on the thread), saying that AI shouldn't replace human-to-human interaction and can't substitute for the complexity of human relationships. Let's hope this Reddit user doesn't use ChatGPT to pen his breakup message.