Carly Quellman, aka Carly Que, is a multimedia strategist and storyteller at the intersection of technology and the humanities, investigating how perspective can enhance, rather than overstimulate, the world. She can be found online and near the closest south-facing window in Los Angeles.
Welcome to a small snippet of my life, the modern dating catch-22: You have to show up to engage. You have to engage to be interested. You can only be interested through interaction. But doesn't that seem like a lot of effort for an outcome you cannot predict?
Yet, here I am, curious enough to keep trying. I've dabbled with artificial intelligence tools, flirting and entertainment-focused dating experiences that are short and sweet but they've lacked an educational component.
What caught my eye about Keepler is that it's focused on self-development throughout the dating process rather than narrowing down whom you want to date. (The company describes it as "self-coaching, skill-building, confidence-boosting and pattern-tracking.") It's not a matchmaker but it is a tool to support your dating habits -- and it requires user consistency and a willingness to engage.
Kepler is a dating optimization app that combines productivity tools with AI-powered strategies and feedback throughout the dating process. The app's goal is to create a system that organizes and optimizes your dating life, using KERI (Keepler Expert Relationship Intelligence) to identify patterns across your dating experiences.
Think of it like the objective perspective that calls out repeated actions (or lack thereof) from a friend or a coach.
Keepler's functions break down into three parts:
Keepler is relatively easy to use but does require patience and consistency throughout the process.
First, download the app, only available through the App Store on iOS. Then, create an account and input your information to personalize your experience including location, birthdate and AI-generated avatar.
Next, you'll want to set up tracking, journaling, goal setting and scheduling. If you're thinking this sounds like a lot of effort, you're right. (But, I'd argue, all genuine relationships require mutual effort.) The journal is a record of your dating journey, which you can personalize with voice or text notes, emojis and photos. This ultimately becomes the foundation for AI insights and feedback.
As you go on dates or have flirty and/or meaningful conversations, record your thoughts/feelings in the journal. The app also contains monthly challenges that provide feedback through KERI, and then generated via an AI-powered feedback feature, to create kind -- but constructive -- messages. You can choose to opt in or out of receiving feedback after each date. This also can be avoided by simply not noting anything about the date within the app.
Now you can review the patterns and suggestions offered by Keepler to identify growth areas and opportunities for future dates.
There are also resources available to refine your dating approach outside of the app, like the website's blog.
You can monitor your development and dating progress over time through Keepler's analytics and journaling history.
If you're wondering about your data, I did too. While I don't think the names of my dates nor their characteristics are identifiable, I think it's important to understand where your input ends up. When I reached out to the company, Keepler shared that your data is not sent to servers but processed through AI API in a way that ensures the company can never see, store or access the data.
Even further, it shared that the app's architecture was specifically designed to protect user privacy so that the user has full control (and IP if your life becomes a written, not-so-fictional creative story).
Since its launch two years ago, Keepler has evolved from a topic-focused guidance space and community hub to a focus on interpersonal insights and "self-coaching," which I believe can serve a wider community while creating customization.
Now, I absolutely see a world where therapists -- particularly those with virtual practices -- implement Keepler to support their clients' personal relationships. Anyone into self-improvement will also find benefit from Keepler because its digital journal is similar to what they may be doing already.
I also can see coaches, assistants and anyone in professional supportive roles using this app for clients -- or even their relationships with clients. While Keepler is catered toward dating, I believe there's overlap in building relationships of all kinds.
Now, it's fair to note that Keepler works at its best when it provides insights and feedback over time. If you're looking for a quick entry into feedback or a simple process for getting your next partner, this probably isn't for you.
Keepler is a reminder that behaviors can only be strengthened if identified, and can only be identified if a pattern has been identified. Basically, you need patience. In my case, I used Keepler for more than a month and still felt like I was just skimming the surface of what it offered.
As AI integrates into more interpersonal technologies and focuses on what it offers humans to engage more deeply, in person, I am excited for what the future of dating apps and platforms look like to help people grow throughout their lives. Wishful thinking, maybe, but Keepler is proof that there are people trying to solve a problem in a more intentional, holistic way. Good luck out there.
